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Sunday, February 24, 2008

VIVA LAS VEGAS!! Part 3

Well I'm near to the end of my trip and have packed so much in, that I haven't kept up a daily blog, as I had intended. So, I have decided to write sections highlighting every different aspect instead.........

THE HOTELS.

As I said, I was staying at The Luxor, and it is possible not to leave your hotel in Vegas as they offer everything you need for your stay. I quite enjoyed The Luxor, as it was at the south end of the strip, and so slightly away from the manicness you find as you head north. However, each hotel is an experience in itself, and The Luxor had it's fair share of excitement all week. 2 days before I arrived, Paris Hilton was appearing at LAX, the hotel's nightclub. Ashlee Simpson was there on the Saturday night and there was a championship boxing match on the same night too. Then there is Caesars Palace, which houses the Colesseum, where Bette, Cher and Elton will be residing this year. The Bellagio has a Cirque Du Soleil show in residence, and has the fountain displays every half an hour in front of the hotel in the vast lake. Spamalot is at the Wynn, Phantom is at The Venetian, Toni Braxton is at the Flamingo and Mamma Mia at the Mandalay. The worst hotel on the strip, in my opinion, is the Excalibur, which is set out like a castle and just looks tacky. All the hotels have casinos, with bars and waitresses all joined together, and what I noticed is the different type of waitress depending which hotel you are in. All the waitresses wear very little, but in Harrahs they look like hookers through and through, where they're slightly more refined at The Mirage. But only slightly.........

THE SHOPPING.

I wrote of my experience at the Caesars Palace Forum shops, however, I hadn't discovered the Fashion Shopping Mall opposite the Wynn hotel at that point! Housing 6 department stores, including Macy's, Saks, Neiman Marcus, this 'mall' is enormous and has pretty much everythng you could want. But then there is the Esplanade at the Wynn and the shops at the Palazzo Hotel. I didn't think things could get any  more ostentatacious, until I disovered these. You'll find the most expensive and exclusive designer boutiques here. The Venitian Hotel has its own forum of shops similar to Caesars except, the Venitian has built replicas of St Mark's Square inside and outside to house these shops. You can also travel by gondola to reach them!! There are moving walkways goin over bridges which go over the lake amidst the hotel. The Bellagio also has a similar set of shops to the Wynn and Palazzo but with their own signature style and design..

What I love about the States and shopping is the service, as 95% of the time it is excellent. And you know when you come across a 'good' salesperson, as I did in Kenneth Cole yesterday. I'm not allowed in there, as I don't need any more clothes really, but I LOVE their shirts. My salesperson was Rochelle, who saw me looking at a shirt, and made her move. Slghtl redundant as I had already decided to buy it, just by looking at it, and it was under $100, but she escorted me to the dressing room, and promptly returned wih 2 more shirts which she decided would go with my eye colour!! She was right in one case but I did refrain from taking that too. However, she had one final trick up her sleeve as I left the dressing room. "Stephen. You have seen upsairs, haven't you? It's our sale merchandise" She might have just told a fat girl from Tuscon, that the buffet was open and free, as I found myself climbing the stairs with a heavy heart. However it was all vile so I left with just the one shirt!

I must mention Abercrombie and Fitch though. Firstly, because the staff there are sooooooo not like the staff in the New York branch and this is unacceptable and wrong. Secondly, because I was mooching around, and was stopped by a woman who thought  worked there. Given what I look like at the minute, she really needed to go to Specsavers, BUT just for one minute, she thought I could have worked there, and I'll accept that!

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 7:53 PM  

Thursday, February 21, 2008

VIVA LAS VEGAS!! Part 2

I hate jetlag!

Having woken up at midnight, after passing out unceremonously on the bed, I went back to sleep only to wake up at 4am. Wide awake, but so groggy from such a long day before. Knowing that I wouldn't get any sleep, I turned on the tv and lost myself in repeats of Roseanne before America's version of GMTV - Good Morning America and The Today Show. These are followed by Today with Regis and Kelly, Oprah and THE VIEW!!!

This is the show that inspired Loose Women on ITV1 and is superior in every way. With a panel headed by Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters, who is one of the most influential broadcasters in the US, it makes Andrea McClean, Colleen Nolan, Carol McGriffen and Jane MacDonald look like 4 women sat in a doctors waiting room with no idea. It has been running for over 10 years, and has been dogged by controversary with Whoopi's predecessor, Rosie McDonnell being sacked from the show, comedienne Kathy Griffin, upsetting Barbara Walters when she co-hosted for a time, amongst other things. It is pure class though with all 5 presenters being so very knowledgable about the subjects they discuss especially politics, and sad as it sounds, it is a highlight for me when I visit the States.

After feeling that I had conquered my jetlag and showered and had breakfast, I ventured out into the Las Vegas sunshine. I had a trip planned for the afternoon, so I decided to head for The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace. Las Vegas is considered the entertainment capital, as well as the luxury hotel and casino capital and now its the shopping capital of the States. I walked into the forum and my mouth fell open at the sheer grandeur of it all. The roof is painted as sky and gives such an atmosphere about the place, as all the shops are set in a roman style to befit and match Caesars Palace hotel and casino. It holds all the top designer names such as Gucci, Pucci, Valentino, LaCroix etc. The most gorgeous restaurants and cafes and I settled on the Cheesecake Factory for lunch.

The reason I settled there is because, Vegas doesn't have an M&S/Pret A Manger where you can grab a sandwich to keep you going, and I mistakenly thought I could grab a quick bite there. I forgot that the portions are as big as the buildings, and waddled out of there an hour later, as full as a fat girls sock! I stocked up in MAC, and was disappointed in Abercrombie & Fitch as the staff are not the same as in the New York branch. There is another branch in Vegas, so hopefully I'll have better perving there.........

It was back to the hotel, though, as I had a trip to go on. I was off to the Grand Canyon by helicopter!! Vegas is in Nevada and the Canyon is in the neighbouring state of Arizona, and it is simply a must do if you visit. There are s many ways to get there. Car, plane or helicopter, and I chose the helicopter, as I had never been in one before, and the trip was in late afternoon, so you returned to the strip at sunset when the strip is lit up in all its glory!

After being picked up by limo from the hotel along with 2 queens from Cardiff, and a family of 3 from Newcastle, we arrived at McCarrans Airport for check in. Now this is a helicopter ride, and is classed as a light aircraft, so all passengers are weighed before the trip. So if you have a phobia about your weight being disclosed, this trip is not for you!! I was put on a chopper with a group of 4 people all from England and our pilot, Nathan or Nate, as he asked us to call him, and I was slightly nervous as we were strapped in and put our headphones on. All very AirWolf!!

However, I don't know what I was worried about, as it was simply fabulous! I was sat in the front for the outward trip and had a birdseye view of everything as we headed across the desert land, Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam towards the Canyon. Through your headphones, you are played suitable mood music as well as an informative commentary on what you are seeing below you. I noticed that all 4 coptors on our trip were aligning each other as we approached the Canyon, and suddenly as we began our descent, the music switched to the theme tune from Indiana Jones, and one by one the copters landed on a rim of the Canyon.

I've been lucky enough to see many things in my life, but this rates as one of the most majestic, peaceful and fabulous ones. I would say, even better than Table Mountain in South Africa. We had 40 minutes in the Canyon to take photos and drink in the atmosphere of this natural phenomenon. Nate, and the other pilots, unpacked a boxed lunch for us along with some champagne, and the other 4 passengers, Nate and I all chatted. It turned out that the other 4 people were from Brighton! One was a taxi driver for 747474 taxis, and after learnng of my profession, asked me if I knew Brian Ralfe. I thought even halfway round the world there's no escaping sometimes!!

All too soon it was time to reboard the copter and head home, however this wasn't such a bad thing as we headed to the fully lit up Las Vegas strip. I didn't know how close to the buildings we were going to get and we were flown in between the hotels and casinos and down Las Vegas Boulevard back towards the airport. It was just stunning as we saw everything at close quarters and I really felt that  was experiencing the true Las Vegas.

It is a costly trip. Over £200, but worth every single penny and I highly recommend it to anyone visiting in the future.

 

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 6:09 PM  

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!

Well folks, it was back to the good old USA for me and the madness that is LAS VEGAS!

Now, this had never been high on my wish list of places to visit, but it was a lady who persuaded me to cross the Atlantic. The legend that is, the divine Miss M, herself, BETTE MIDLER!

My flight was with Virgin at 10.45am, which meant a 6.30am wake up call. Nice! The flight itself was very pleasant, which I was surprised at having had a hideous night flight back from New York last year. I noticed straight away that the majority of passengers in my section were part of birthday parties and wedding parties also. I have to be honest and ask, why people want to spend, what is meant to be the most romantic day of their lives, getting married, whilst surrounded by hookers and Elvis impersonators?

After a smooth landing and a small hold up waiting for baggage, I was at my hotel on the Las Vegas strip. I had chosen the Luxor, which is the Egyptian themed hotel. You enter under the massive Sphinx outside and into the pyramid behind. I knew that everything is big in Vegas, but this was HUGE. And camp too. I was on the 10th floor, and was carried there on, not an elevator, but an INCLINATOR, of which 4 inhabit the corners of the pyramid.

After unpacking I ventured downstairs for a nose. I ended up in the bars for a couple of very good cosmopolitans. It's true what I had heard about Vegas hotels. Each one is an experience in itself, and it is possible never to leave your hotel in some on the strip. All have entertainment centres. The Luxor has a cinema and a couple of theatres. Numerous bars and restaurants plus the obligatory casino. I watched everyone going by whilst finishing off for my drink. I then decided to go and get ready to have something to eat in The Steakhouse restaurant.

However, when I got upstairs, I sat on the bed at 6.30pm and woke up gone midnight.......

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 1:44 AM  

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Will the REAL Lola Lasagne please stand up?

You will have read that on Friday 18th May, I left Lola in the wardrobe and made my debut, as myself, as a guest of Topping & Butch's Brighton Festival show. But that was a warm up to the official debut that happened on Tuesday 29th May at Simon Happily's Comedy Camp, which is situated below Barcode in Soho.

Comedy Camp was born a little over 6 years ago, as a mixed lesbian, gay and straight venue, which is reflected in the line ups every Tuesday, with some of the biggest names on the comedy circuit appearing, such as Stephen K Amos, Jo Caulfield, Paul Sinha, Tina C, Lucy Porter, Ian Stone, Simon Evans, Gina Yashare, Topping & Butch and Kandi Kane/Laquisha Jonz. Even Harry Hill, Graham Norton, and Al Murray, the Pub Landlord have appeared there!

So I suppose it begs the question, "What the hell was I doing there?"

Well, Simon Happily, on his nights off, is a regular at the Black Cap, and has seen me many times and has always been frustrated by the audience's attention span. Or lack of! So, he spoke to me last year about performing to an audience who were willing to listen. I initially agreed, but it wasn't until the beginning of May that we settled on the date. However confusion did reign as I was under the impression that Simon wanted Lola to appear, but no. He wanted me (oo-err!), so that's what he got. It's fair to say that Lola isn't a rounded character such as Lily Savage, Tina C or Kandi Kane, so it was the right decision.

Despite having performed for many years, I was soooo nervous that evening. I went to Balans to eat first, with my friend Dan, and at one point thought I was going to be violently ill, but put it down to hangover from my birthday the day before. In the fresh air, I felt calmer, until we met up with other best friends, Ian and Mark, and went into the venue.

Being directly after a bank holiday weekend, meant it was quieter than normal, although that was the least of my worries, as I met my fellow performers, Shelagh Martin and Chris Neill. Chris is a regular panellist, on BBC Radio 4's 'Just A Minute', as well as a stand-up, writer and producer, and I was thrilled to meet him, being a huge fan of the programme. He and Shelagh were very nice and supportive as we sat in the tiny archway backstage. I will never complain about dressing rooms in gay venues again!! Showtime arrived and I went out front to watch, first Simon as compere, then Chris Neill do the opening set. Well the crowd, small as it was, were very nice and enthusiastic, and Chris had a very good time, and I really enjoyed seeing him do stand-up. There was a short interval, where the crowd can take advantage of the ridiculously cheap drinks, and then it was me!

Simon went back on, and decided to talk to a couple in the audience. My friends Ian and Mark! Wasn't what I needed before I went on, especially as after that Simon gave me a big buildup and all I could hear was Ian, Mark and Dan howling! So on I went, and like the set with Topping and Butch, I went well. Laughs in the right places and no forgetting of material. Hardly surprising as it's stuff I do as Lola. 10 minutes goes quickly and I went back out front to watch Shelagh do her set. She's described as surreal, and that certainly fits! despite some hesitation with new material, she had a good set as well. Then, after another quick break, it was time for headliners Chambers & Nettleton. I last saw them about 4 years ago, in a gay venue, and they didn't have a particularly good time. Tonight however, they deserved the label of headliners as they stormed the place! Very funny and an excellent rapport gave them a rapturous ovation from the crowd. We spoke afterwards and like Chris and Shelagh, were very supportive and impressed by my debut.

It was strange afterwards, as queens came up to me saying that they had enjoyed the set and asking why I didn't do material like that as Lola. I replied that I did, but tonight was a the first time they'd been in a venue where they could actually listen to what I had to say. The main difference between Lola and Stephen is that as Lola, I have an opening song in which to calm myself, sus out the crowd and what to talk about afterwards. As Stephen, I'm on and I have to be funny in the first 30 seconds. Not easy, but I am so grateful to Simon for giving me the chance.

As to the future, rest assured that Lola is going nowhere. I will be back at Comedy Camp, and will be working with Topping & Butch, again, in the summer, but Lola is my bread and butter at the moment. It was very nice to do something completely different and I welcome the challenges in front of me to continue doing so. I hope that I can do 'straight' singing gigs as well in the future. But now you'll never be sure whether it'll be Lola or myself turning up to entertain you.......

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 11:10 AM  

Birmingham Pride 2007

Once again, the rain fell in bucketloads, and once again I was thwarted from performing and supporting Birmingham Pride........

Last year, bank holiday traffic meant that it took me the best part of 3 hours to get to Junction 10 on the M40. This year, I was actually in Birmingham city centre, having performed at the Wellington Hotel on the Saturday night, but Sunday morning, the view from my hotel bedroom window was one of gale force wind and torrential rain.

Being scheduled to appear on an open air stage at 3pm didn't fill me with any joy, so I took the decision to go straight to London as I had a gig there that night. However as I approached the M42, I got a call from Ruby, of the Birmingham Kopy Katz, reminding me that bad weather would mean the cabaret being transferred inside to the Village Inn, adjacent to the stage. I had completely forgotten that this was the arrangement and was slightly mortified by this. However I am glad that I took the decision to carry on as the rain, wind and water on the motorway resulted in appalling visibility and a journey of nearly 4 and a half hours to get to East Ham!

So, yet again, I offer huge apologies to Birmingham Pride for another non appearance. It's nothing personal. Honest!!

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 10:48 AM  

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Her Imperial Highness, Regina Fong - gone but not forgotten.

Tuesday 15th April, 2003 was a very sad day when the LGBT scene, throughout the UK, learnt of the passing of Reginald Sutherland Bundy aka Her Imperial Highness Regina Fong.

Regina was a legend. From her start as member of legendary triple act, The Disappointer Sisters; hostess of the infamous Tuesday amateur night at the Black Cap; through to the sketches she performed across the UK with her loyal audiences of Fongettes joining in on every word. So it was only right for the scene to remember and celebrate her life each year, and this happened for the 5th time on Tuesday 22nd May, 2007.

The first remembrance show, back in 2003 was a truly unique and star-studded show. So many people wanted to pay their respects, and those we couldn't get on the stage were in the audience! But between Titti La Camp and myself, we managed to coax the following out of retirement. Adrella, Katrina & The Boy,The Harlequeens and the one and only Lily Savage. This was a show that would never be repeated in quite the same way, and made for one of the best shows (and the longest!) in the Black Cap's history. Since then the remembrance shows have tried to concentrate on performing Regina's sketches, as that's what the Fongettes want to see, and this year's show proved to be the best yet.

A stellar line up of muself, Titti, Sandra, Millie Turner, Mrs Moore, Trindy, Rose Garden, Dolly Diamond, Adrella, Sheila Blige and Ebon-Knee kept the audience of Fongettes and some very confused queens on their toes, with renditions of Skippy, Cilla, Deirdre Rasheed, Blockbusters, The Mouse, marti Caine, Thora Hird, Roman Orgy, Janice Smith, and the Typewriter. We had Jamie Watson providing some serious vocals, and David Rosen on the sound, which created a true Tuesday night atmosphere, that Regina would have been proud of!

Such a successful night (the door money was donated to the Marie Curie Cancer Fund) proved the mark and popularity of a true star, and it was an honour to pay tribute to someone who not only was a fabulous artiste, but a fabulous friend as well.

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 10:44 PM  

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Lola Stands Up - or does she......

I have been performing as Lola for some years now, and many, including myself, regard Lola as my screen to hide behind when on stage.  And I have never performed as myself, Stephen Richards, until last Friday 18th May, that is.

I got a call from Andy Simmons, one half of Topping & Butch, last Wednesday. He knew of my upcoming gig, as Stephen, at Soho's Comedy Camp, and wondered if I fancied a chance to make my debut earlier than expected as a guest on their show, 'Pigs Will Fly' at the Udderbelly in Brighton, as part of the fringe. I have to say that I had initial misgivings, as I was nervous enough about the upcoming Comedy Camp show, but after a talk with Andy, and knowing that I would be safe in Topping & Butch'es hands, I agreed.

However, come the day, I was not at all confident about the evening's performance. In fact you could say I was sh***ng myself!! The fact that I was wearing a suit, in order to be as far removed from Lola as possible wasn't helping either. I arrived at the Udderbelly for the tech run to meet the other guests. Queen of the Bossa Nova, Lorraine Bowen, female muslim stand-up, Shazia Mirza and David Shelley as character, Kurt Von Rimmer. After microphone levels for the finale number had been set, I disappeared to the bar for a large vodka as a bit of dutch courage.

There came my next problem. No one, apart from my friend Dan, who was with me and a couple of others knew I was doing this gig. So when I bumped into a couple of friends, and quickly made excuses to leave, I was accused of being very rude. Well they called me a word that rhymes with punt........ I really didn't want to spoil the surprise, so went and lurked in the dressing room before showtime.

And before I knew it, it was 7pm and Topping & Butch had taken to the stage and from the audience reaction, things were going well. Lorraine Bowen joined them and they performed her song 'Crumble' whilst trying to outdo each other on the bossa nova beats. Then came the showing of the video to their song to Cherie Blair, starring Brighton stand-up, Zoe Lyons as the PM's wife and then it was me..............................................................

Well 5 minutes comes and goes very quickly, and I really don't know what I was worried about. The material was all stuff I do as Lola, and went down well to a mixed audience of gay and straight. In fact there were rounds of applauses after some gags! That happens very rarely on the gay scene, believe me! However Topping and Butch weren't finished with me, and set me a challenge to come back at the end of the show and perform a hoedown with themselves and Kurt Von Rimmer, which naturally I accepted. Well it had already been rehearsed! So back I came. Only this time I was in blonde wig, pinafore dress, lippy and blusher. Boy I looked a picture!

And then it was all over. My debut as Stephen Richards, stand up comedian. And it was out to the bar for a self analysis of the evening. I was, and so were my friends, very pleased with the way things had gone. And there wasn't just the material to think about. I had to think about to walking onto the stage - honestly! - and how to stand and what to do with my hands.

It's a whole different science walking in flat shoes, I can tell you........

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 3:09 PM  

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Champers, manicures and Dolly Parton!

After the Golden Handbag Awards and the knowledge that we pulled off a successful night, I awoke feeling a bit flat. Normal after such a big event but thankfully help was at hand in the form of Rupert as he arrived to pick me up to take us both to London to see the 1st Lady of Country Music - Miss Dolly Parton!!

Rupert had planned the day and first off was Harvey Nichols, as he had booked us in for a 15 minute manicure at the champagne nail bar. now Lola might wear nails, but I really don't fuss over mine at all, so this was a new experience for me. And if the truth be told, men faffing over every part of their body doesn't really do it for me, but this afternoon was a blast. Probably due to the champagne on offer!

However, it was probably more to do with the woman who greeted us. Blonde hair, two toned and rat tailed at the back. Add to that, far too much collagen in her top lip, plus false tits. A grey jumper, with a large plunged neckline, highlighting the false tits, over black trousers, with a big black cummerband belt and flat ballet pumps. Not that i took much notice of her, you understand! She sat us down and gave us some champagne plus some hand cream with collagen in. She told us that the hand cream would plump our hands up and make them feel bigger. I told Rupert that I should flog this at a fisting club. Make a fortune!!!

Five minutes later, she told us that she wouldn't be able to fit us both in as one of her nail technicians had gone home sick. It was then that I caught sight of the 2 nail technicians. Both hard at work with clients, but keeping an eye and ear on everything she was saying to us. Rupert pointed out that we had booked in advance and why couldn't they fit us both in. This question seemed to baffle the woman, and she turned into a parody of a Victoria Wood character before escaping to talk to someone else and book them in for an appointment that she clearly didn't have to offer! The nail technicians told us that they could fit us both in, no matter what 'the lady' had told us. I asked why they didn't know her name. Apparently she was new and still finding her feet, but clearly wasn't making much of an impression on the rest of the staff. Particularly when she decided that water at the wrong temperature was more important than clients with botched appointments! Still it was a very camp afternoon and set us up nicely for the rest of the day.

Next stop was Harrods which was a place I used to work at before I disovered showbiz! It hadn't changed much at all. Same poncey rules about cameras, jeans, rucksacks. The staff even wore the same namebadges! Bought some Prada aftershave. Caught up with a couple of friends still working there and then we headed back to Harvey Nicks and the fifth floor restaurant, before making our way to Wembley Arena.

Dolly Parton is a legend and I had booked the tickets as soon as I could. By a stroke of luck, we were in the front block, 20 rows from the stage. As we made our way in, I couldn't help but looking at the punters and making comparisons to other concerts. When I saw SClub7, the bulk was obviously teenagers; Kylie attracted the gays but Dolly attracted the most eclectic group of people I'd seen. Lots of queens, naturally, but also lots of young straight women with a boyfriend/husband in tow, who clearly didn't want to be there. Then there were the older straight couples with a penchant for country music but it was the groups of people who looked like they had organised an outing from the local line dancing club! There were Dolly stetsons, waistcoats and cowboy boots a go go everywhere you looked.

The show was fantastic, although Wembley is soooo not the place to see her. Very uncomfortable on the backside. Dolly appeared behind her band of 8 and 3 backing singers in a fitted jacket and skirt all gold and glitzy, looking like a very camp yellowcoat from Hi-De-Hi! She tore through 'Baby, I'm Burning' and '2 Doors Down' to open with much to everyones delight. As the first half continued, she talked as much as she sang with stories of her family life and why songs had been written. She also played instruments! She leapt from piano to guitar via the banjo and harmonica. The second half continued much in the same vein although she was now in a white trousersuit, which covered up the skinniest legs I've ever seen. 'Jolene', 'Nine To Five', Islands Cross The Stream' (no Kenny Rodgers though!) were all sang as was 'I Will Always Love You'. Before she sang that she told us the campest story about Elvis wanting to cover it. Dolly was all for it until Colonel Tom Parker told her that Elvis wanted a share of the publishing rights. Dolly said that her songs were her children and there to provide for her when she was old, and given the amount of money she made from Whitney Houston's cover, Dolly is a wise shrewd business woman! So Elvis never got to sing it, and Dolly wrote a song about not working with Elvis which she performed for us. I have to say that it was the most toe-curlingly, buttock clenching awful 4 minutes of my life, as this man came on dressed as Elvis and mimed his way through this song. Apart from that it was a fabulous night and well worth the ticket money and the queue into and out of the car park!

There aren't many legends left and I'm so glad that I can tick Dolly of my list of people I want to see, and have been glad that I did.

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 2:56 PM  

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

THE GOLDEN HANDBAG AWARDS - 18TH MARCH 2007

Following weeks of voting on realbrighton.com, in categories set by GScene Magazine, the winners of this years awards were announced at a star studded ceremony, held at the Hilton Metropole.

The awards were first held in 1995, and organised by Brighton Cares as a fun way of raising money for HIV/AIDS. But it was 3 years ago that the event became annual and took a front seat on the Brighton gay calender, when I was asked to help organise the show held at the Old Market Theatre, Hove. In previous years only the winner was announced, which reduced some of the excitement, and gave the impression that no one else was in the running for the award. So, the top three nominations were read out and the winner announced from them. This helped give people ideas of where the LGBT's loyalties were lying, as well as giving the awards more of an 'Oscar' feel.

This year, there were 17 different categories and more competitiveness between the eligble than ever before. We also had a new goal for the money raised through ticket sales in the form of a permanant memorial for victims of HIV/AIDS. This would be only the second of its kind in the UK, with the other being in Manchester, and the decision on what and where this memorial would be, will be decided after consultation later this year. So it was fabulous to see more interest shown to the awards by businesses and the public than before, and we had an audience of over 400 in attendance.

The setting was the Hilton's Oxford suite, which is a massive room and needed careful planning. ARENA ENTERTAINMENTS, provided our sound and lighting with a fabulous stage layout., and we were blessed by donations of floral displays and decoration of the room from FITZHERBERTS OF BRIGHTON  and MANDY, FROM DECORUM. These had actually been provided for a separate event the night before, and kindly donated to us when they learnt of the cause for fund-raising from our show.

So the show arrived, and I must confess that organising the cabaret tent at Brighton Pride is a piece of cake, compared to the Handbags. I get soooo nervous, as we are putting together a show, which people are paying good money for, so we have to impress. The Hilton also need to be impressed, given the fact that they are a major hotel in Brighton, and donated their room for nothing. In the audience are the Mayor of Brighton, David Smith; Simon Burgess, leader of the Council; plus Gordon Astley from BBC's Southern Counties Radio. Plus, my first 10 minutes involves parting of information, plus new jokes! So, no pressure then!!!

Despite a delay in setting the room up, and disappearing sound men, the show started just after 7.30pm and got off to the best possible start as my new jokes went well! I was very proud of the fact that I managed to continue my running gag, at the expense of the Aquarium, Steine Street. It's nothing personal, guys. Promise! We honoured the ladies of the gay scene with awards for GIRLS NIGHT OUT, BAR GIRL AND FEMALE DJ, which was won by the delicious DULCIE DANGER  for the 3rd year running!  Then the Brighton & Hove (actually!) Gay Men's Chorus entertained with a very pleasant set, before our next presenters took to the stage.

They were the Mayor and former 80's pop star and one half of Dollar, Mr David Van Day. This was quite ironic, as he had managed to upset a few people at a ball in February with comments, meant as a joke, and aimed at the Chorus. The story had made the Brighton local paper, the Argus, and we were quite worried by the reaction that he would get with his arrival. However, I did defuse the situation by announcing him and asking the audience to put their backs to the wall, proving that some people are better at humour than he is!! Mr Van Day and the Mayor announced the winners for BUSINESS, DOOR WHORE/HOSTESS and MANAGER. I was delighted that  JOAN BOND won her first (and long overdue) award as Hostess. The manager award provided the first twist of the evening as it was a tie between CHRIS MARSHALL of CHARLES STREET and ANDY FEEST of the QUEENS ARMS.

Our next artiste was DAVE LYNN and you never know exactly what's going to happen when he appears, so he delighted the audience when he decided to perform 'Roxie' from 'Chicago' complete with male dancers. When one of those dancers was PETE BENNETT, winner of BIG BROTHER 7, you knew to expect the unexpected. We certainly got that when Pete and his fellow dancer picked Dave up and paraded him around the room!! This was just what we needed as we approached 3 of the biggest awards for the night - BEST BAR, CABARET BAR and  FAVOURITE ENTERTAINER, with the winners being CHARLES STREET, THE QUEENS ARMS and MISS JASON.

I have to tell you that I felt a sense of relief at not winning the entertainer award, despite being a two time winner and nominated, in the top 3, for the 4th year in a row. This was one of the fiercer contested categories, with all eligble contenders going all out to win! The DRAG WITH NO NAME, JAMIE WATSON, DAVE LYNN and myself had all put voting links on our respective websites, however, Miss Jason had paid for a sticker and flyer campaign, which resulted in her face appearing all over London and the South Coast!!! After showing initiative, as well as being thoroughly deserving of the award, it would have been a shame not to see Miss Jason win. Hopefully it answered a few questions about supposed 'fixing' of the results at the same time too.

The presenter of those 3 awards was COLIN FRY, psychic and star of Living TV's 'Sixth Sense'. He bought the audience to their feet with an impassioned display of emotion about a close friend he recently lost to HIV/AIDS and pledged 3000 pounds to the fundraiser. After such drama the audience had excellent entertainment in the form of GARETH SEVERN and his tribute to Robbie Williams, with a stunning vocal impression as well as an excellent performance.

Onto the second half and awards for SAUNA, HOTEL and OUT OF TOWN VENUE were duly presented before the 'listed building' of drag,  MAISIE TROLLETTE took to the stage. I do sometimes forget how loved Maisie is, but was reminded by the response she got and would be reminded of that again,a bit later on. It was time for the next 3 awards honouring BAR MAN, MALE DJ and SCENE PERSONALITY. There was another tie in the barman award and the gorgeous TONY B picked up the dj award. It was then I realised that I would probably be nominated for scene personality, as James Ledward's twisted sense of humour saw that the presenters were Pete Bennett and his friend, and so NOT my friend STEPHANIE STARLETT. Not only was I nominated, (along with Miss Jason and Miss Joyride), but  I WON!! Despite Stephanie's reluctance to pose for a photo - cheers for persuading her, Sam! - I smiled sweetly, but I genuinely meant my thanks to the audience and to those of you who voted, as I picked this up for the second consecutive year. Andy Feest said earlier in his speech that some people consider these awards a bit of fun, but it does mean something to win, and I, like him, thank you sincerely.

Our next artiste was the supremely talented PAUL ZERDIN, comedian and superb ventriloqist. Despite humble beginnings in Brighton, guesting with Maisie at Secrets and Revenge, Paul's star has risen and shone, and will continue to do so as he stole the show with his 'friend' Sam. With 3 Royal Variety Shows under his belt and regular headling spots all over the world, Paul took the room very quickly under his command, with Sam subjecting Gordon Astley and companion, Marie, to a torrent of abuse, albeit very funny, before magically coming to life all on his own. The audience lapped it up and gave him the ovation he deserved.

The two big awards followed for CLUB NIGHT and  CLUB and were won by RELIGION @ CHARLES STREET and REVENGE. Both of these were the other categories most contested, and I was surprised that MONKEY didn't feature in the top 3 for club night, given it's popularity. But Religion was a worthy winner and provided us with our 'Gynneth Paltrow' of the night with promotor's Ben's speech. He was still talking as presenters GABBI and BILLIE moved him away from the microphone!! Revenge simply carried on reaping the awards as it has done for several years. We had one final artiste, the DRAG WITH NO NAME to perform, and with a special performance he'd put together for the night, he finished the main part of the show on a high. With a very tongue in cheek nod to his not winning an award, a fabulous in your face version of 'Grace Kelly' by Mika, and an affectionate (I hope!) dig at yours truly, he left the audience wanting more!

However, the purpose of the event is to bring the Brighton LGBT community together, and celebrate, as well as honour, our scene, and this was truly done by 3 special awards introduced by James Ledward. The first was given over to the voluntary sector and BRIGHTON & HOVE'S GAY SWITCHBOARD. Despite many obstacles and lack of funding over the years, they have fought to provide a service to those who most need it for roughly 30 years, whether it be a telephone number for a venue or service to something more important to help someone in trouble for whatever reason. The second award was to recognise the fundraising efforts of PAUL KEMP and his team at WILD FRUIT. Over the years, they have continued to donate money from their hugely popular club nights and have reached over the hundred thousand mark. The final award was for LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT and was given to Maisie Trollette aka David Raven. This bought everyone to their feet, as David made a heartfelt speech thanking everyone for their support. When I returned to the stage, I added my own personal tribute to a man who I've known for 20 years, and as James Ledward stated in his speech, gave encouragement to those starting out, not just as acts but as gay men or women. His committment to helping those around him, particularly those suffering with HIV/AIDS is so commendable, and I shed a few tears whilst doing this. And I'm not ashamed of that, although I told David that was the first and last time that that would happen!!!

And then it was all over. The awards had been given out. The winners and nominees had been congratulated, and more importantly the bar was shut! I said in my final words that I was so proud to help organise, present and be part of this event, and I've probably never said a truer word in my life. The atmosphere in the room and at the venues afterwards was fabulous and gave us another reason, apart from Pride to be really proud of being gay and being part of a community, which like anything, has it's downsides but ultimately is a rewarding exerience for all concerned.

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 6:06 PM  

A very Happy Birthday!

I've been doing this job for a while, and most of the time, like any other job, it's a good one. Thursday 15th March was a particularly good day though as I was performing at Central Station, King's Cross, which is one of my favourite venues, and the location for the 60th birthday of Duncan Irvine, one of the venue owners.

I've performed at the venue's own birthday bash 3 or 4 times, plus NYE twice, but to be asked to a special night like this is an added bonus. There was a good turnout for the evening and I had a ball.

I was careful not to embarass Duncan too much, given the fact that Elton John had had a massive party for his 60th that same week. Mind you, our evening had an added bonus in the delightful form of stripper, College Boy, who dragged Duncan to the stage for part of his routine. Duncan, at least, pretended to resist!!

I'm back at the venue on Saturday 31st March, and hope to be there for many years to come, if all nights are as good as Thursday!

# posted by Lola Lasagne : 5:24 PM